Are You Confident that you are Confident?

“It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.”

W.C. Fields

Not succeeding at some things in life is one or our great “stretch lessons” for all of us.  If you are a leader you can expect to fail a lot.

It has been estimated that 50% just flat out don’t succeed in their leadership role. Lack of success on a task, in a relationship or achieving important goals can really shape our sense of ourselves and how confident we are.

Self-confidence on the surface seems to be both a pretty easy concept to understand and one that would appear to be a strong factor predicting work/life success, emotional health and psychological well-being.  Self-esteem seems to be one of the “core self-evaluations” along with self-efficacy, sense of control, and emotional stability that appears to have a growing association with significant work and life outcomes ((Judge, T. A., & Bono, J. E. (2001b). Relationship of core self-evaluations, self-esteem, generalized self-efficacy, locus of control, and emotional stability—with job satisfaction and job performance: A meta-analysis. Journal of Applied Psychology, 86, 80–92)).

People who have high self-esteem and are confident are actually more likely to fail in life because they are also more likely to take risks and pursue new opportunities.  It is true that such individuals might also set unachievable goals or even try to persist long after it is apparent that they can’t succeed.  In fact, those with high self-esteem take even greater risks, particularly under stress, that increase the likelihood of failure which is often called a “fatal flaw” for many derailed leaders and visionary entrepreneurs ((Newton,N., Khanna, C. & Thompson, J. (2008).  Workplace failure: Mastering the last taboo.  Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research, 60, 227-245)).

Current research suggests that self-esteem is actually very complicated and hard to measure. In fact, there appears to be three unique types:

• Stable Self-Esteem (True self-confidence)
• Defensive Self-Esteem (Self-deceptive confidence)
• Unstable Self-Esteem (Self-doubting and situational confidence)

Recent research suggests that people with “stable” self-confidence view failure as a challenge and those with either “unstable” or “defensive” self-confidence see it as a threat because failure feedback is very likely to trigger strong and persistent self-doubt.  These individuals appear to exhibit the lowest task engagement as a way to “save face” and to soften any potential failure. Interestingly, self-esteem is a major concept behind hardy and stress resistant individuals–those who truly believe in themselves are more insulated from the negative impact of negative work and life events and even unplanned changes and loss we all face.

Researchers can define and measure “unstable” self-confidence. These individuals are simply asked to report their level of general confidence in life over a short period of time and the differences are then calculated to determine the change in scores over the two time periods. When scores vary a lot over the two time periods it is apparent that self-confidence fluctuates and positive self-feelings are vulnerable to situational variables (e.g., whom I am dealing with or the type of task I am trying to accomplish).  In “unstable” self-confidence the facade of being confident appear to be a defense against underlying negative feelings about one’s self. Despite outward expressions of being confident, these individuals are actually full of self-doubt.

Individuals who express “defensive confidence” work really hard to convinced themselves, and others, that they come across without self-doubt. These individuals tend to score very high on measures of self-deception (social desirability) and expend tremendous energy try to create a set of positive impressions to themselves and others.  These individuals appear to possess an approach to coping called “repressive coping.” 

“Unstable” confidence might have some advantages in the short term to protect fragile egos and avoid the emotional reactions of loss, hurt and anger that goes with failure.  However, those expressing “defensive” confidence might actually be at risk for getting sick.  A growing body of research literature has convincingly shown that individuals high in defensiveness are more likely to experience increased cardiovascular risks, cancer proneness and other negative health conditions ((Schwartz, G.E., Schwartz, J.I., Nowack, K.M., & Eichling, P.S. (1993). The hardiness and the negative affectivity confound as a function of a defensive coping style. University of Arizona and Canyon Ranch. Unpublished manuscript)).

Research on people who fail give us some insight about “lessons learned” that fall into three categories:

1. A stronger identification and recognition of core personal values
2. Reduction of true self-doubt about one’s ability to cope with work/life challenges (enhanced hardiness)
3. Enhanced commitment to developing signature strengths and competencies

We can all grow and learn from failure as a way to build our sense of confidence in ourselves.  Those of us who display a “positive explanatory style” of failure (it’s not just due to my own lack of ability, it’s not likely to be something to happen again, and it’s just one situation or event that isn’t really characteristic of my life) tend to rebound faster and in a healthier way. 

By truly acknowledging and moving through our emotions as we face life challenges and spending time on self-reflection of our unrealistic fears of failure we can help to build stronger self-confidence in all aspects of life.

So, just how confident are you?  As Mark Twain said, “Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered – either by themselves or by others”….Be well….

 

[tags]emotional intelligence, competent jerks, stress, job burnout, leadership, heart disease, talent management, engagement, productivity, bad bosses, kenneth nowack, ken nowack, nowack[/tags]

 

Ken Nowack

Kenneth Nowack, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist (PSY13758) and President & Chief Research Officer/Co-Founder of Envisia Learning, is a member of the Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations. Ken also serves as the Associate Editor of Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research. His recent book Clueless: Coaching People Who Just Don’t Get It is available for free for a limited time by signing up for free blog updates (Learn more at our website)