“If any of my competitors were drowning, I’d stick a hose in their mouth.”
Ray Kroc
No matter where we are in the world, we seem to adore athletes that rise to the occasion and demonstrate their competitive spirit.
We also tend to cringe when colleagues are too competitive with us (and others) and seem to create negative impressions about “winning at all costs.”
The Competitive Personality
We all compete with others to some extent. Some of us might even be described as hypercompetitive.
Psychologists categorize hyper-competitive individuals as having a singular main goal of beating others and are often characterized as narcissistic, less respectful of others and lacking in warmth ((Ryckman, R. te al., 1997). Values of hypercompetitive and personal development competitive individuals. Journal of Personality Assessment, 69, 271-283)).
Richard Ryckman of the University of Maine, who has been studying hypercompetition and validated a specific scale for measuring the extremes of this concept. Here are some of the items from his measure (think about how you might answer these on a strongly agree to disagree scale?):
- If I can disturb my opponent in some way to get the edge of competition, I will do so…
- I can’t stand to lose an argument…
- I find myself being competitive even in situations which do not call for competition…
- I compete with others even if they’re not competing with me…
Do We Become Less Competitive with Age?
Common sense suggests that we are most likely to get less competitive as we get older. Based on everything we know about aging it seems logical that one’s reputation (this is something that is externally defined) and career goals are more important early in one’s life and other success anchors might tend to emerge later.
In a nifty study published in 2011, competitive preferences were examined using real financial stakes with 543 working adults between the ages of 25 to 75 ((Mayr, U., Wozniak, D., Davidson, C., Kuhns, D., & Harbaugh, W. T. (2011, November 7). Competitiveness Across the Life Span: The Feisty Fifties. Psychology and Aging. Advance online publication. doi: 10.1037/a0025655)).
Results revealed that competitive preferences increased across the life span until they peaked around age 50, and dropped thereafter. The authors also found that throughout, men had a substantially larger preference for competing than women—extending previous findings on college-aged participants.
Women were less likely to compete than men throughout the life span, and the difference in the willingness to compete between 50-year olds on the one hand and either 30 or 70-year olds on the other was at least as large as that between men and women.
What is the Relationship Between Performance and Being Competitive
A long debate has centered on whether competition makes us perform better or worse. Research suggest that the answer is both “yes” and “no”– competition shows very little to no relationship with performance. And, other research suggests that it  does. How can this be?
In a 2012 review of over 175 studies on competition and performance, the researchers found no statistical evidence that performance and competition are associated with each other ((Murayama, K & Elliot, A. (2012). The competition-performance relation: a meta-analytic review and test of the opposing processes model of competition and performance. Psychological Bulletin, 138, 1035-1073)). Their meta-analysis indeed revealed that there is no noteworthy relation between competition and performance.
However, they dug a bit deeper.
They found that the “no relationship” was hidden depending on the type of competition that was classified in the prior research. They found two types of competitive modes:
- Playing to excel and win
- Avoiding messing up and avoid losing
Their results revealed that when people try to play to win and do their best, performance significantly improves. When people play not to lose and are afraid to make mistakes, their performance actually decreases. In their original research, these two modes of competition statistically cancel each other out.
Their research seems to shed some light on what is commonly referred to as “choking” and how our competing with ourselves versus others can play a role in actual performance. Â In particular, when our own competitive spirit is focused on doing our best we can turn our energy, concentration and focus into succeeding.
When our concerns are about the possibility of failure, we lose the edge needed to achieve success because of our inability of doing what comes naturally (i.e., relying on what deliberate practice translates into unconscious competence). The “best of the best” don’t think about what they are doing in the moment–they just rely on “cognitive muscle memory” to accomplish the desired task at hand.
Five Tips for Healthy Competition
1. Monitor Your Negative Self-Talk
Have you ever had to give a speech and were anxious because you felt unprepared and thought you can’t speak well in front of others? Â Or, you were concerned that you won’t come off as professional or polished as someone else you have seen speak? Â If so, your self-talk is oriented towards “failing” rather than seizing the day.
When you catch these “messing up” self-thoughts, immediately reframe them by visualizing a captivating audience giving you a standing ovation and create a mantra you can use to focus on “winning” (e.g., say something to yourself before you begin like “seize the day”).   You behave according to what you believe, so by shifting your negative self-defeating talk into “winning scripts” you literally shift your behavior to an unconscious competence mode resulting in significantly better performance.  Your performance and success are linked to what you say to yourself in the moment.
2. Visualize Success (Often)
Competitive people practice–a lot. But, they do so in a unique way–a lot. They visualize the outcome and create neural wiring that makes the mind-body go on “automatic” when they need to (it takes about 90-days of deliberate practice mentally or physically to make new behaviors unconsciously competent). This results in less “choking” and performance anxiety which interferes with high performance.
So, each day, visualize yourself excelling and performing at a high level. Yes, practice (deliberate) over time (over and over) makes better (and automatic) and recent fMRI research reveals that such visualization builds neural circuits much like actual physical practice ((Bezzola, L. et al., (2013). The effect of leisure activity golf practice on motor imagery: an fMRI study in middle adulthood, Front Hum Neurosci, 29, 6: 67, doi; 10.3389/fnhum.2012.00067)).
3. Beat Yourself — Not Others
Set your own standards and continuously try to beat them–not everyone else. Besides, there is always a 10-year old that can beat you at Call of Duty or Borderlands 2. Excelling and doing your best is far more satisfying than shooting to beat others (at least the feeling will last a lot longer).
When I was in high school I once won an award for the “most improved” player in a city basketball league. That award, more than any other I ever received, made me feel great to the core and even though just about everyone I played with that year surpassed me in talent, ability and future performance.  So, set your own standards to continuously improve and focus less on the accomplishments, goals, awards and achievements of others.
4. Focus More on Learning Goals and Less on Performance Goals
What happens when you and your team have achieved a performance goal? In most cases it disappears and is almost always replaced immediately by a more challenging, more difficult goal. The secret then is to focus more on learning goals (i.e., goals oriented to develop new skills, abilities and interest to get smarter). Research by Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck noted that both goals are common and can fuel achievement. However, what she has found is that an overemphasis on performance goals – wanting to look good – can foster a helpless response. So, to be a great competitor in life, focus more on sharpening your own “saw” than trying to use that “saw” to defeat your competitors.
5. Give Up Sometimes (Really!)
According to new research, quitting may actually be better for your health. Psychologist’s Gregory Miller and Carsten Wroshch have found that people who are able to feel comfortable quitting when faced with unattainable goals may actually have better mental and physical health than those who persevere and push themselves to succeed ((Miller, G. & Wrosch, C. (2007). You’ve Gotta Know When to Fold ‘Em: Goal Disengagement and Systemic Inflammation in Adolescence. Psychological Science, 18, 773-777)).
This study was based on their previous research which found that those persistent individuals experienced higher levels of an inflammatory protein called C-reactive protein (an indicator of stress) as well as increased cortisol. They also reported lower psychological well-being. On the surface, this might not seem like a big deal but inflammation appears to be an independent risk factor for cardiovascular disease and other stress related conditions.
Contrary to what we might have been taught, it appears that it might be in our best interests to “cut our losses†in the face of unattainable goals and life challenges and actually disengage from the goal to ensure optimum well-being and potentially long-term health. This appears to be true whether we are in unsatisfying long-term relationships, working for leaders who are toxic or targeting a goal that is beyond our skill and ability “set points.â€
So, most of us do indeed chill as we get a bit older and those of us who focus on doing our best–actually do so.
As Yogi Berra once said, “In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.” Be well….
Ken Nowack
Kenneth Nowack, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist (PSY13758) and President & Chief Research Officer/Co-Founder of Envisia Learning, is a member of the Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations. Ken also serves as the Associate Editor of Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research. His recent book Clueless: Coaching People Who Just Don’t Get It is available for free for a limited time by signing up for free blog updates (Learn more at our website)
