Either a Mentor or a Mentee Be

HOT READS FOR THE PRACTIONER

Title: Power Mentoring: How Successful Mentors and Proteges Get the Most Out of Their Relationships

Competencies: coaching, talent development, self-development

Who benefits:those in or in need of a mentor-mentee relationship

Consultant Usage: career development specialists, coaches – especially those whose relationship is comparable to a mentor

What’s it about?  This is about 3 stories, an observation, 2.5 recommendations and a book.

Story 1: John Gerletti was mean to me.  He yelled at me.  He cursed me in several languages, including Arabic – which was quite impressive.  He once ripped up a lengthy paper I had written, calling it trash and pathetic.

John Gerletti was a fine man, an outstanding professor and exactly what I needed.  He could read me as easily as a beach novel.  He had confidence in me when I didn’t have confidence in myself.  He believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself.  And he wasn’t going to let me fail, in the classroom or in life.

I spent 3 years under John’s wing.  Then he pushed me out of the nest.  “Fly”, he said.  “You are ready now.”  I had a good career and I owe much of it to John. 

About the time I was leaving the nest I asked John what could I do in return.  He said simply: “Help others like I have helped you.”  That’s what he wanted from me.  And that was a long time ago.

Story 2: Today, many, many years later, I am in the early stages of a monthly ritual.  I meet with two women at a local watering hole.  They are both extremely intelligence, of good cheer, possessing high intra and inter personal skills and inquisitive minds.  They are close colleagues in the same organization.  Both have bright futures ahead.  One is seeking advice on current office issues; the other is seeking what I would categorize as self-development and career exploration.  My role with them is as a listener and advice-giver.  This will undoubted be a short-term relationship but mutually satisfying.

Story 3: Many years ago a long-time friend and colleague began mentoring a young college student.  Their mentor-mentee relationship took on a more formal, long-term structure.  Over time the mentee responded well to the mentor’s counsel and was rewarded with an internship, then some low-level paid work, later with consulting assignments until the mentor-mentee relationship dissolved into peer relationship and a very close friendship.  Granted, this is not a typical description of a mentor-mentee relationship, but it is a great story.  And for them it worked.

An observation: These three stories represent different kinds and interpretations of mentoring.  During my career I did many, many short-term “mentorings”.  I would help out while it was mutually beneficial and then we would part.  My colleague and friend has had the more intense, long-term mentoring relationships that almost invariably ended up in a peer-friendship relationship. Two kinds of mentoring, both satisfying based upon the personalities involved.

2.5 Recommendations:  If you are the mentor, help the mentee to set goals and then be the enforcer.  Push a little.  Don’t do the work for the mentee.  If you are the mentee, heed the advice of your mentor (and if you are not absolutely sure you know the meaning of “heed”, look it up).  If you make a commitment, keep it.  And finally, always, always make it mutually valuable.  Make it a win-win.  At this stage of my life, I like to mentor for fun.  Since I don’t have an office anymore, I conduct my business at a local watering hole (or sometimes a coffee shop).  So there is my value, my “win”!

Want to read more about formal mentoring?  Read Power Mentoring by Ellen Ensher and Susan Murphy. 

(Now here it comes…this is one of those “oh, by the way moments”.)  Ellen Ensher is the young college woman, intern, junior consultant, peer consultant, university professor and scholar in story 3 above. 

You see, what goes around does come around!

[tags]mentor, mentoring, mentee, protégés, career development, coaching, ellen ensher, susan murphy, bill bradley, william bradley,  bradley[/tags]

 

 

Bill Bradley

Bill Bradley (mostly) retired after 35 years in organizational consulting, training and management development. During those years he worked internally with seven organizations and trained and consulted externally with more than 90 large and small businesses, government agencies, hospitals and schools.