Leadership Lesson Raising a Guide Dog #30: Letting Go

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.”

Herman Hesse

 

A few weeks ago we attended the graduation of our Guide Dog puppy Ajax–now almost two years old.  We had not seen him for about 4 months after turning him back in to the Guide Dogs of America professional trainers after raising him for almost 18 months as part of our volunteer puppy raising role.

I can’t tell you how many times we have been asked how we can say goodbye to the puppies after raising them for most of their puppy lives and then wondering if they will become a guide dog for somebody who is sight impaired and blind.

The question about “how can we let go?” is one that reminds me of an old story….

The Monkeys and the Coconuts

Villagers in the Sahara desert wanted to capture monkeys as they tend to be talented at finding precious sources of water. One ingenious villager thought of cutting a hole in a coconut and placing some peanuts in it knowing that monkeys would be attracted to this food. Then he placed several “stuffed” coconuts in a tree frequently visited by the monkeys.

Within minutes of putting the coconut in the tree, several curious monkeys wandered by, smelled the peanuts, climbed up the tree and put their hands inside the coconut. As villagers approached to capture the monkeys, several couldn’t climb down the tree because they were clutching the peanuts inside the coconut–their hands stuck holding the peanuts and the large coconuts that didn’t allow them to swing, climb and run away very easily. If he had let go of the peanuts, the monkeys could have easily made a quick getaway. Unwilling to let go, the monkeys were easy for the villagers to capture.

The Challenge of “Letting Go”

The moral of the story is that sometimes we just have to let go–whether it is some of our old habits, ways of doing things, opinions and philosophies or how we look at ourselves.  Letting go doesn’t’ mean forgetting or not feeling.  In fact it means to accept and feel and through this process to become even more resilient and to savor what we experienced in the time we were able to enjoy it (post traumatic growth).

Ajax was a puppy that provided my wife and I with love, smiles and companionship that will always be very special…Yes, it was very difficult to say “goodbye” and it was very difficult to see him again wondering how he would react when he saw us and how he had matured working with the professional guide dog trainers.

The guide dog graduation ceremony, I guess, is a bit like giving away the “bride” on a wedding day–it seems full of mixed feelings about what the relationship meant in raising the individual and being willing to “let go” and know that life will be different in the future.

We wish the very best to Ajax and his new partner!  They seem happily matched and he has become the leader we always hoped he would be….I know my tears have been of joy and being proud to play a small part in in his journey to be a gift of greater mobility and freedom for someone who really needs his guide dog skills.

We are now raising our fourth guide dog named Rocco who is about 5 months old….I will hold onto my picture of Ajax and his new partner at his graduation for another 12-15 months until we again say “goodbye” to this cute yellow bundle of lab joy.

In my tears in both missing Ajax and beaming with pride about his new role and life, I have to remember what Dr. Seuss once said: “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened”….Be well….

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Ken Nowack

Kenneth Nowack, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist (PSY13758) and President & Chief Research Officer/Co-Founder of Envisia Learning, is a member of the Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations. Ken also serves as the Associate Editor of Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research. His recent book Clueless: Coaching People Who Just Don’t Get It is available for free for a limited time by signing up for free blog updates (Learn more at our website)