Leadership Lessons Raising our Guide Dog Puppy Rocco #3: I looked in the Mirror and Saw Someone Else

The man with insight enough to admit his limitations comes nearest to perfection.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Rocco is now about 10 weeks old and we knew sooner than later he would wander into our bedroom closet and find the mirror on the wall.  Every one of our 4 guide dogs have reacted the same way–what they see is another dog!

The mirror test is a measure of self-awareness, as animals either possess or lack the ability to recognize themselves in a mirror. The mirror test was developed by Gordon Gallup in 1970 and the group of animals that can actually see their reflection in the mirror is a short one but includes the great apes, chimpanzees, orcas, elephants, Magpies bottlenose dolphins and even pigs.  Dogs, cats, babies and many leaders consistently fail the mirror test.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall….

Most of us fall prey to what Professor of psychology Shelly Taylor at UCLA calls the three “positive illusions” in how we view things through the mirror of life:

1. People tend to inflate the perceptions of their skills and abilities
2. People typically exaggerate their perceived control over work and life events
3. People generally express unrealistic optimism about their future

It’s no secret that some of us have inflated views of our skillsand competence–we’ve known this for a long time as it’s a consistent finding in all 360-degree feedback research ((Nowack, K. (1992). Self-assessment and rater-assessment as a dimension of management development. Human Resources Development Quarterly, 3, 141-155)).

The prevalence of self-enhancement is not hotly debated but there is continued controversy on whether it is essentially adaptive or maladaptive which has important implications for understanding and interpreting multi-rater feedback for performance evaluation or development.  If self-enhancement is conceptualized as seeing one’s self generally more positively than others, then the outcomes (performance, health, career and life success) are frequently more favorable, but if it is defined as having higher self-ratings than others who provide feedback (self-rater congruence), then the outcomes are frequently less than favorable ((Nowack, K. (2010). Leveraging Multirater Feedback to Facilitate Successful Behavioral Change. Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research 61, 280-297)).

Here are two prevalent “distortions” we see in talent and leaders in our own research ((Nowack, K. (1997). Congruence Between Self and Other Ratings and Assessment Center Performance. Journal of Social Behavior and Personality Volume 12, 145-166)).

1. I look in the Mirror and Appear Bigger than Others (Over-Estimators).

This type of distortion occurs when talent and leaders rate themselves higher than how others experience them on specific assessments of skills and abilities.  The bigger the distortion and gap between self and other ratings the greater the likelihood these individuals will find feedback challenging to accept and are prone to exhibit defensive behavior.

If you were to take a look at the common psychological definitions for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) you might see many of these manifested in talent and leaders who highly over estimate their skills/abilities including:

• Have a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates skills and achievements)
• Preoccupied with fantasies of success, power etc.
• Believes that they are unique and can only be understood by other high-status people (or institutions).
• Infrequently acknowledges mistakes or weaknesses
• Requires excessive admiration, praise and recognition
• Has a sense of entitlement
• Can be interpersonally manipulative to achieve his or her own goals
• Lacks empathy and is unwilling or unable to demonstrate true caring about the feelings of others
• Demonstrates arrogance

Our own unpublished research suggests that talent and leaders who have this perception of themselves when looking in the mirror might not only be high risk to derail in their careers but potentially also be at risk for getting sick (some limited evidence suggests that over-estimators might also utilize a repressive coping style which has been shown to be associated with both immune suppression and cardiovascular activation).

 2. I look in the Mirror and Appear Smaller than Others (Under-Estimators).

This cognitive distortion appears when self-ratings are much lower than how others experience and perceive the individual’s own self-ratings.

Individuals with this type of cognitive distortion are particularly fascinating when you sit down to debrief a 360 feedback report–we find these characteristics over and over again:

• Highly perfectionist
• Expect high performance for themselves and others
• Express some history with being depressed more than once in their lives
• Focus on their weaknesses and look for for fault, criticism and potential deficits in their feedback from others
• Ignore and gloss over any feedback suggesting “strengths” as being too complimentary

Our feedback meetings are also challenging–only because the individual with this type of cognitive distortion ignores the positive and won’t spend time leveraging their strengths when we discuss development plans. In fact, they appear “hyper-vigilant” to any feedback that might be described as neutral or negative.

So, both the Over-estimator and Under-estimator take a look at themselves in the mirror unrealistically, relative to others.  In the first case, they suffer from thinking about their skills and accomplishments as being larger and more grandiose than how others perceive them.  In contrast, the Under-estimators just don’t appreciate or allow themselves to see just how positively they are perceived by others.  The good news for Under-estimators is that they are valued and seen as possessing higher skills or potential than the employee or leader who has rated themselves.

No matter how long Rocco stares at himself in our bedroom mirror, he will always see another puppy.  So what do you see when you look in the mirror?  Be well….
[tags]self-ratings, distortion, self-awareness, multi-rater feedback, 360 feedback, self-insight, emotional intelligence,  kenneth nowack, ken nowack, nowack[/tags]

Ken Nowack

Kenneth Nowack, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist (PSY13758) and President & Chief Research Officer/Co-Founder of Envisia Learning, is a member of the Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations. Ken also serves as the Associate Editor of Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research. His recent book Clueless: Coaching People Who Just Don’t Get It is available for free for a limited time by signing up for free blog updates (Learn more at our website)