TGIF – The Truth Lies In Leadership

As the week winds down, we wind down with some tidbits for your information, education, health, and enjoyment.

Quote of the Week:  “The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint to keep from meddling with them while they do it.”  – Theodore Roosevelt

Humor Break: Today I present you with a spoof.  It could be an endless tale.  Or a tale without end.  Or even a tail without an end.  I have no idea where this spoof comes from, but since today I give a one finger salute to bad leadership, I offer it to you with appropriate apologies:

Band of Roving Chief Executives Spotted Miles from Mexican Border

San Antonio, Texas (Rooters) Unwilling to wait for their eventual indictments, the 10,000 remaining CEOs of public U.S. companies made a break for it yesterday, heading for the Mexican border, plundering towns and villages along the way, and writing the entire rampage off as a marketing expense.

“They came into my home, made me pay for my own TV, then double-booked the revenues,” said Rachel Sanchez of Las Cruces, just north of El Paso. “Right in front of my daughters.”

This morning, the outlaws bought the city of Waco, transferred its underperforming areas to a private partnership, and sent a bill to California for $4.5 billion.

Law enforcement officials and disgruntled shareholders riding posse were noticeably frustrated.

“First of all, they’re very hard to find because they always stand behind their numbers, and the numbers keep shifting,” said posse spokesman Dan Nabbit. “And every time we yell ‘Stop in the name of the shareholders!’ they refer us to investor relations. I’ve been on the phone all damn morning.”

“YOU’LL NEVER AUDIT ME ALIVE!”

The pursuers said they have had some success, however, by preying on a common executive weakness. “Last night we caught about 24 of them by disguising one of our female officers as a CNBC anchor,” said U.S. Border Patrol spokesperson Sara Pallen. “It was like moths to a flame.”

Also, teams of agents have been using high-powered listening devices to scan the plains for telltale sounds of the CEOnistas. “Most of the time we just hear leaves rustling or cattle flicking their tails,” said Pallen,”but occasionally we’ll pick up someone saying, ‘I was totally out of the loop on that.'”

While some stragglers are believed to have successfully crossed into Mexico, Pallen said the bulk of the CEOnistas have holed themselves up at the Alamo. “No, not the fort, the car rental place at the airport,” she said. “They’re rotating all the tires on the minivans and accounting for each change as a sale in the current quarter.”

Stat of the Week: Ten years later and some things don’t change.  Three of the most prestigious business professors in the world wrote Memo to: CEOs in May of 2002.  They wrote about the 5 Half-Truths of Leadership.  Is the article worth reading?  It is on an emotional level.  As I write this I am mad as Hell and don’t know what to do about what I am reading.  And that makes me sad.  My colleague on this Blog, Wally Bock, is always writing about learning in organizations.  Great strides are being made in appropriately educating the workforce.  What about educating the (almost always) Big Guy at the top?  Does (almost always) He get it?  I mean emotionally “get it”.  There are two old thoughts running through my head right now: “Win the battles, lose the war.”  and “We have met the enemy and they is us.”.   If you do take time to read this 4-page article I ask you to read some of the Stats near the end and gage your emotional reaction (you have read mine) and to answer this question: Are things better or worse today?

Action Tip: Consider linking this article to colleagues who might share the concerns raised by this pointed piece.

Did You Know? Are you enjoying the Olympics?  In a trivia mode?  Then riddle me this: Why will the next Summer Olympics be held in the Winter?  First correct answer wins self-satisfaction.

Bill Bradley

Bill Bradley (mostly) retired after 35 years in organizational consulting, training and management development. During those years he worked internally with seven organizations and trained and consulted externally with more than 90 large and small businesses, government agencies, hospitals and schools.