We See What We Believe

“It may be your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.”

Stephen Wright

This is a repeat of my very first blog in loving memory to Elmo who taught me so much about love and life these last 11 years….

Well, I’ve learned a lot about “seeing” through some volunteer work my wife and I have been involved in for over 10 years–it’s with a wonderful organization here in Los Angeles called Guide Dogs of America (GDA). We have had the wonderful privilege of raising several guide dogs for the blind and have learned quite a bit about ourselves, others and life through our efforts.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the program you typically receive and get to name the puppies at about 8 weeks old and they live with you until they are mature (kinda like kids) which for most dogs is about 18 months. They then begin their structured training to serve their mission of literally being the “eyes” for someone who is sight impaired. When they are working they always were their “bibs” identifying as “guide dog in training.” Truthfully, our job is only to socialize the puppy and try not to make it harder for the professional trainers who will work with these dogs (so, no stupid pet tricks!).

Our community has been a wonderful supporter of the program—in fact many merchants and restaurant owners knew the names of our dogs but never our own! Good thing we have strong self-esteem. It has been wonderful to take our dogs everywhere, be recognized and have total strangers want to interact with us—gosh sounds like things all of us like about communities.

Several years ago we took our beautiful yellow lab named Elmo with us after our morning run at the beach to my wife’s favorite am coffee stop. He was working so that means no petting, no crumbs on the floor grazing or goofing off. A man approached me and told me that we couldn’t “have a pet in the store.” I know most of the morning help and didn’t recognize him—I thought maybe he might be a “newbie” that possibly possessed that “no clue gene?”

Well, I was ready for the question having been told on a number of occasions that “dogs are allowed”….these are my “educational moments” and I actually take pride in helping others understand the job Elmo is really doing. He looked at me strangely for a moment and asked, “Are you blind?” As unbelievable as it might sound, he wasn’t the first! I chuckled lightly and answered, “No.”

I wasn’t prepared for his second question which seemed to come out of nowhere—“well, is the dog blind?” “No” I replied, now beginning to dig through my mental DSM-IV flowchart of Axis II disorders. Just as quick he went into a Dennis Miller rant telling us, in a very animated fashion and loud voice, just how terrible pet owners were in our city, how they ruin property and that we want a private beach just for dogs. You could feel the tension in the room as most eyes were galvanized on this pretty intense interaction. Just as quickly, he stopped and walked away leaving me completely speechless and an awkward silence cloud among everyone watching.

It was at that moment that I realized that one of us truly was blind—the individual who had so aggressively approached us really had no clue how he came across, the impact his style and behavior had on us and how he was perceived.

Elmo has been a wonderful metaphor for the coaching work I do and a reminder that from time to time all of us needs a “guide dog” to truly help us see the world a bit more accurately. In a sense, we are all a bit blind to how we come off and how others experience us—only when we try to open our eyes to ourselves and others can we truly grow. Elmo and the other guide dogs we have been blessed to raise have truly helped me to see myself and others in a brand new light….Be well….

 [tags] guide dogs, executive coaching, learning, envisia learning, talent management, talent development, ken nowack, nowack  [/tags]
 

Ken Nowack

Kenneth Nowack, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist (PSY13758) and President & Chief Research Officer/Co-Founder of Envisia Learning, is a member of the Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations. Ken also serves as the Associate Editor of Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research. His recent book Clueless: Coaching People Who Just Don’t Get It is available for free for a limited time by signing up for free blog updates (Learn more at our website)